The current COVID-19 pandemic has led to a very strange phenomenon where
toilet paper (affectionately known as ‘loo roll’ in the UK) seems to be the first
thing that people are panic buying.
It almost boggles the mind as to how a respiratory illness from China
can cause the stores in the US to sell out all their toilet paper in hours. Panic
can make people illogical and selfish.
On an interesting note, there’s a website online that online that will calculate
how long your existing supply of toilet paper will last. You can see it here: https://howmuchtoiletpaper.com/
The only possible explanation for all the hoarding is that people are
afraid that the pandemic will be a protracted situation, and they’ll be left
without any more toilet paper.
While this is hardly likely because there are no production hiccups and supply
chains are still strong, you may encounter a situation where you can’t buy toilet
paper because the store shelves are empty.
You may be running low or have completely run out, and now you’re really
in a sticky situation.
So, what do you do?
The most difficult hurdle to overcome will be to shift your mindset. It’s
also the easiest way to deal with the toilet paper shortage.
Millions of people in Europe, Asia, etc. use bidets to clean up after
defecation.
A spray of water is delivered directly to the anus and cleans the area pristinely.
It’s more hygienic than toilet paper and its hassle-free.
You’ll not need any toilet paper when water is
your friend.
Americans who are not used to this practice and can’t even fathom the
idea of using a ‘bum gun’ to clean themselves will be hesitant to try it out.
Do give it a try and you may never look back. Tough times call for
improvisation and adaptation.
Rather than spending hours in queues or jostling with other people just
to get toilet paper, you could easily purchase a bidet from Amazon and install
it in your house. Problem solved.
This is another alternative to toilet paper. There are two problems
here. Firstly, these may be sold out too. Secondly, flushing wet wipes down
your toilet may clog the plumbing.
If your toilet gets clogged, you’ll need to find a plumber to fix the
problem and during these times of self-isolation, that will be a bigger chore
than usual.
Some people may hoard baby wipes as toilet paper substitute. This is not
recommended because babies NEED those wipes too, since their skin is softer and
more sensitive. Be thoughtful even when times are tough.
Sometimes you just have to think out of the box. Fast food outlets
usually provide paper napkins with their meals. Buy a delivered junk food Meal
and voila! You’re now the proud owner of a PizaToiletpaper.
- Washable towels/cloth rags
This one is nasty and should only be undertaken by those with a strong
constitution. All levity aside, the cloth towels/rags will be used just like
toilet paper, but when you’re done using the towels, you’ll need to wash them
in hot water so they can be reused later.
If the idea of doing this makes you balk, you’re better off just getting
a bidet and calling it a day.
There are many other types of paper that you could repurpose as toilet
paper. You could use old newspapers or you could yank out the A4 paper from
your printer and use those too. CVS receipts are another option.
The problem here is that you’ll need to soften the paper with water
first. The last thing you want are paper cuts on your behind.
Then there’s also the issue of safety. You don’t know if the inks on the
paper or the receipts will have any negative effect on your health, if absorbed
by your skin.
You’ll also need to discard the used ‘toilet paper’ in the trash and not
flush it down because your plumbing will get clogged.
- Sanitary pads and/or sponges
Feminine hygiene products may be sold out, but if all you can get your
hands on are sanitary pads, those can be used as toilet paper too.
Dishwashing sponges are another alternative. But just like the washable
towels, you’ll need to reuse them which means washing them and enduring the
ordeal.
Once again, none of these products should be flushed down your toilet because
they do NOT break down like toilet paper, and will clog the sewer lines.
Besides the options mentioned above, hardcore survivalists will recommend
toilet paper alternatives such as leaves, rocks, corn husks, etc.
These are extreme measures, and we’ve not reached a situation where you’re
living off-grid or in the wilderness. The store shelves will be restocked and
many supermarkets have instituted quotas on the essential items to prevent
hoarding.
Your best bet during this time will be to use a bidet and get through the
shortage until the situation returns to a relative state of normalcy. Rest assured
that it will happen soon.